December 2009
One Day
Some days you are everything..
Some days you melt every nerve ending in my body - I become a pile of mush. You leave me riddled with endorphins and pleasure and pure, untainted joy. Some days I’m a queen, I deserve the crown you place on my head because in your eyes that is the truth, that is your truth.
Some days I don’t know who you are anymore..
I’m left empty and unworthy...
I WAS BORN WITH GLASS BONES AND PAPER SKIN.
EVERY MORNING I BREAK MY LEGS, AND EVERY AFTERNOON I BREAK MY ARMS.
AT NIGHT, I LIE AWAKE IN AGONY UNTIL MY HEART ATTACKS PUT ME TO SLEEP.
ALWAYS A JOHN, NEVER A HOOKER
ALWAYS A BOSS, NEVER A WORKER
ALWAYS A LIAR, ALWAYS A THIEF, NEVER CAUGHT.
1 tag
Avatar
Alright, so, out of the four of us that went to go see Avatar last night, I was the only one who enjoyed it.
And let’s keep this in mind, Kevin and I went into the theater thinking it was this movie - (), which doesn’t help the situation at all.
Yeah so, I don’t understand why they didn’t like it.
I mean the graphics were innnncredible, I’m a fan of Sam...
Trying a new layout,
I don’t think I like it.
I haven’t been this annoyed with everything in a long time.
Today I just hate people, stupidity and everything else that goes along with it.
I’m going to go see someone who always puts a smile on my face and have a good night.
*Trying not to let sour moods get the best of me.
I’m also just not feeling a real attachment to anyone lately, my true friends are older and busy...
Saturday Nights
Last night Kevin and I went to a Christmas Dinner Potluck, ate wonderful food, met nice people, got sweet presents, and had a lovely time in the hot tub, but drank way too much.
Then we went to a birthday celebration, and drank way too much.
Drinking makes me crave McDonalds, I figure I should cut that shit out.
Positives - I met a 43 year old man named Walter whose New Years Resolution is to...
I was laying there with him and holding his hand and I was looking at it, and I felt like I was seeing it for the first time in my life.
Like when you just forget everything and go, ‘this is a hand. This is a hand’.
Like when you stare at a word too long and forget how to spell it because everything in your mind is so jumbled up. You can’t think straight because you’re...
As of lately I’m feeling neglected, over-looked, unheard, ignored, and brushed off.
It sucks, it puts a sour look on my face, it makes me want to give up on your sorry asses.
I don’t think the things I have to say are ignorant, and I believe that when I say them, I’m doing it in the best interest for those involved.
If you want to get insulted when I make a...
“Do you know the most surprising thing about heartache?
It doesn’t actually kill you.
Like a bullet to the heart, or a head-on car wreck, it should.
When someone you’ve promised to cherish forever says, “I never loved you,” it should kill you instantly.
You shouldn’t have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn’t know.”
I’m in a World Issues class right now reading up on the Child Pornography which is a multi-billion dollar industry, gathering statistics and facts and case studies and court trials. Despite that I’m in no way searching for photos of little kids, everytime I type in “Child Pornography” into Google I feel like a pedophile and sick to my stomach, especially since today just...
http://lookbook.nu/look/354103-THE-FUR-IN-ACTION →
If I had long messy blonde hair, I would wear fur whenever the fuck I felt like it, too.
DEAD FLOWERS
Eating dead flowers and seeing in a daze
Opening the sight but it’s all in a haze
Wailing, wretched, in the strange sunshine
Your ribbons of sadness are now mine
Dancing in circles, twirling as we go
Heads turning quicker, minds turning slow
Mazes of colour to find your way through
Laughing and smiling and playing with you
Dead flowers devoured in the familiar nighttime
Seeing,...
SHAM
Pollution, addiction, dysmorphic reflection
Masochistic affection, false projection
Unknown reflection, displaced location
Different direction, short visitation
Pouring words, slowly sink
Deeply burrow, change, think
Stabbing words, push, brink
Hard, difficult, impossible, link
Filthy solution, fiction fusion
Confusion contusion, thought protrusion
Self prosecution, self persecution...